Motherly Grace
by Kamen Rider Chrome
Summary: Sometimes the truth can hurt yourself and others but it can also set you free.


**MOTHERLY GRACE**

Shinichi entered the Irie Clinic, dreading the confrontation. However, this was something he needed to. This was something his mother deserved to know. This was something they both needed to talk about and deal with.

He really thought he could keep this all a secret from her but he was only kidding himself. Secrets had a way of coming out. Eventually, they would reveal themselves even after much time has passed. At least he revealed his secret at his own terms, despite it being a desperate situation.

While he steeled himself, deep down he was deathly afraid. How would his mother treat him after this? His friends had accepted him but would his mother? He had his doubts but it was time to face the music. It was time to face her with his secrets.

Once he entered Irie's office, he saw his mother just sitting there. "Ah, Banabara-kun, you're back," said Dr. Irie. He'd been shocked when Shinichi transformed into Kamen Rider Showa and no doubt had questions of his own. However, he knew that the only one Shinichi wanted to speak with right now was his mother.

"Doc…do you mind leaving us alone for a bit?" Shinichi requested. He needed to have this talk with mother, alone.

"Certainly, but afterwards let me check you for wounds," Dr. Irie requested.

Shinichi wanted to protest but shook his head instead. He trusted Dr. Irie enough to check him. Curiously enough, Dr. Irie had never used the X-Ray on him before. There was no reason before, but after tonight the young doctor was going to more thorough with Shinichi's medical examinations in the future. "OK." Dr. Irie left the room.

"Kaa-chan?" Shinichi spoke. Her head snapped up and he flinched away from her gaze. He didn't want to see eyes filled with fear or hate. "I'm…" He was taken by surprise when she ran up to him and hugged him. "Kaa-chan?" he uttered, shocked, but welcoming the embrace. He gently returned the hug, rubbing her back. "What's wrong?"

"Are you hurt?" she asked. "The fight was on the news. Are you alright?" She'd seen the whole thing and saw how her son had defeated the other Kaizo Ningen.

"I'm fine," he told her. "I beat him…but I also…killed him." He sounded remorseful, which he was. However, King had given him no choice. The sadistic Kaizo Ningen was going to kill his friends to lure him out.

"My poor baby…" she said softly, gently stroking his hair. She then asked, "How come you're the Kamen Rider?"

That was the question which dreaded him. She had to know now. No more secrets and lies.

"You might want to sit down," he advised. "This might be a lot to take in." They both sat on the bed. He then started his tale, "Well, all I remember is…" He hesitated.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He took a deep breath, "All I remember is that an organization made me into a Kaizo Ningen, a cyborg." He clenched his fists. Shiori gasped. She was no stranger to science fiction but this wasn't fiction. This was real. Her son was a cyborg. There was no denying it after what she'd seen.

"When…?" she asked.

"It started on the day you lost me," he confessed. Shiori remembered. She'd been late to pick him up from kindergarten but when she got there he was already gone and had disappeared from her life.

The realization hit Shiori hard. She'd never stopped blaming herself for losing her son. If only she'd arrived early to pick him up.

"What did they do?" Shiori asked carefully.

Shinichi then told her what they did. He told her about the horrible experiments and tests he had to endure. He told her about GIN-SHOCKER, Gebok and the NUMBERS. He'd even told her about how he fought the Darklings and Darkloids. He also told her about Rina and what happened to her.

"And that's everything I can tell you," Shinichi finished. "Kaa-chan?"

"You mean…they tortured you?" Shiori said.

"Yes, they did, but what happened to Rina was the worst…" He had killed Rina, which was a fact that was hard to live with.

"What happened to her was not your fault," said Shiori. "They tricked you."

"I keep telling myself, but…" His eyes fell upon his hands. "I can still see and feel her blood on my hands and the people I killed just to get out." He palmed his face, covering his eyes. "Gebok turned me into a monster."

"Don't ever call yourself that!" shouted Shiori.

"It's true!" he answered back. "I'm BLACK 13! I bring nothing but pain and misfortune! I even made you cry!"

"You're crying too," said Shiori. "Shinji…"

"Please, don't call me that," he requested. "I'm not Shinji. Shinji died on that operating table when Gebok got his hands on him. I'm just some stranger that took over what was left."

"No, you're still Shinji!" she protested. "You just grew up, that's all. You had to grow up on your own."

"How can you still see me as your son?" he asked. "Cut me open and you can see that there's nothing natural about me. Most of my insides have been replaced or mixed with machines. I'm not human, and I'm not even a machine! I'm just a sick and twisted mix of the two!"

"But you're still Shinji," she persisted. "You're still the son I gave birth to." She would not believe otherwise. Even if he changed his name he was still her son.

Shinichi told her, "I really wish I could remember you. I really wish I could remember the time we spent together before GIN-SHOCKER changed me, but those memories are gone." Those memories were the ones he'd rather have than the ones of his time in GIN-SHOCKER. He would rather lose those memories. He slept better when he didn't know of his horrid past, since he knew there was a reason he lost his memories before.

"Let's make new memories, OK?" Shiori smiled.

His shoulders were shaking as he sobbed. "I've done horrible things…I just…I just want to forget again…" he said, sniffling. "I just want to forget the things Gebok did to me and made me do and live a happy life with you and everyone, but I can't. My…my past has come back to haunt me." Shiori took hold of his hands. "Kaa-chan?"

"Well, you're not alone now, are you? You have your Kaa-chan and your friends. You can get through anything with your friends and family, right?" she said.

"I guess…" nodded Shinichi.

"And don't be afraid to come and talk to me when you have problems. I'm here for you."

She didn't hate him, and she wasn't afraid of him either. That was good, right? He began to cry again. "Kaa-chan…do you know why I couldn't tell you before?"

"Enlighten me, Shinji," Shiori said. She wanted to know why he couldn't come forward and tell her the truth before.

"I…I was scared," he confessed. "I was afraid you'd hate me." Shiori gasped and quickly hugged him again.

"I could never hate you!" Shiori exclaimed. "How could you think that? I spent ten years of my life just looking for you! I could never hate my own child."

"But…I'm a killer." He could never erase the slate which held the list of the people he'd killed. He could not wash away the blood.

Shiori thought differently. "No, you're not! You were just manipulated. Listen to me, Shinji Banabara! It was not your fault!"

"But…I'm a monster…"

"You care, that proves you're not a monster. Real monsters don't care," she said wisely. "Do your friends know?"

"Yes," he answered.

"And do they treat you any different once they did know?"

"No."

"Then why should I, your mother, treat you any different?"

That hit him. "Kaa…Kaa-chan…" He bawled like a baby, "KAA-CHAN!" All his guilt and regret poured into the tears running from his eyes.

Shiori hugged him in order to comfort him. She then pulled away so he could see her smile. Tapping her chin, Shiori spoke up, "I see a lot of potential in your life story, Shinji."

"You do?" blinked Shinichi.

"It would open a whole new avenue for me. A series of adventure novels!" She started her explanation, "A young boy, kidnapped and turned into a weapon escapes from his captors and becomes the bane of their existence. He becomes a true hero, fighting against the darkness from the outside and inside!" She grinned. "It'll be a masterpiece!"

Shiori's smile was an infectious one. He couldn't help but return the smile with his own. "You're right, and if they sell we'll share the fame and profit!"

"Oh, Shinji! I've always knew you were my muse!" The pair hugged.

"I need an outlet," he agreed.

"Oh, and even if I don't hate you I'm still upset that you kept this from me. For the next two weeks you're grounded."

"Grounded?" he questioned.

"For two weeks, no club activities for you young man. You come straight home after you help Dr. Irie clean up his clinic. I need someone to help me with my new book," she told him.

Shinichi smiled. "Alright, that's fair."

"But, you can invite your friends over if you want," said Shiori. "Just…come talk to me, alright? I'm your mother, Shinji. That's what I'm here for."

"Thank you, Kaa-chan, and I know I don't say this enough but I love you and I'm glad you found me."

"I'm glad I found you too, Shinji." She then requested, "So…can you show me your cool transformation again?"

Shinichi sweatdropped, "Kaa-chan…"

"Oh, please? Please, please, please?"

Shinichi sighed, "Only for you."


End file.
